no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
