We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
