I love black thongs
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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