Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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