oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
