real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
