you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
