I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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