try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
