Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
