He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My breasts were aching with rage.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Randomize
