and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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