How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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