All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
