did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
