I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
