I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
