I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
