Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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