my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
