haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
bring money and cleavage
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
