I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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