dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
