Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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