do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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