I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's blow job season.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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