Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
