I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
