scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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