Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
