my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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