can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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