sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
