After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
