And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
