I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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