she woke up with a sticky ear
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
