GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
