i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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