I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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