i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
and you fell through a lawn chair
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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