there's paper in my vomit.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
