In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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