Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
