We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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