your room smells of hookers.
And success
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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