They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I touched a dick in church today
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
