After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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