Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Pants are for mortals
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
