Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
