This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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