Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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