You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
