I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
