your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Your dad touched me again.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
